How do we count the heartbreaks? By tears shed? Or sobs that wrap our bones in ache? By silent moments where “should have’s” topple the brim of the void with emptiness? By the scars we bear (on body or mind) where Love turned traitor and Trust was a liar leaving us with wounds so deep we are forever changed. but as the sparrow flies— How do I begin? How can I even attempt to name all that has been lost? I count my losses in the tens of thousands. And I used to say, “I want to love so much that it hurts—“ but I’m tired now. but as the sparrow flies— The truth is: I don’t know how to keep going to keep loving— or if I even want to. can’t I hide beneath the covers until this madness is over? These sharp inhales are hard to take, and yet I must breathe— before the knife of dawn shanks its way through my curtains again. The way the world just keeps on turning can feel like violation like violence to those whose sheets have become a shroud where the broken heart has laid to rest —one last time. but as the sparrow flies— My heart is made for Love, and yet I can hardly remember the last time she made me tea. Only, how it burns when I try and grasp the kettle. I wonder if someone is keeping track. Is someone out there making sure all this adds up? That I hadn’t better spend my heart and money on something more practical? A weighted blanket perhaps. Over distance, through death, in wounds— is there something Divine in this ache? Does love look different as the sparrow flies?
A NOTE TO YOU:
My friends—this poem is for you, if you’ve ever wondered if love is worth it. Not just romantic love, but any kind of love. The bonds that you’ve made have been broken—by distance, death, betrayal…and it hurts. Sometimes so badly you aren’t sure you can get out of bed. This poem is for you—as is the book of poems from which it, and it’s title, came.
As the Sparrow Flies, my first collection of poems on the pain that comes with loving, seeks to answer this question: Is it worth it? Because if you, like me, have spent your heart loving, I know there have been times you’ve wondered that. Times you’ve been so shattered that you seriously considered locking your heart away behind gates of stone, and never opening the door again. Or perhaps you truly have done it. Locked your heart up, and thrown away the key. I promise I’m not judging you. We all deal with heartbreaks in our own ways—one of my ways is to write poems. So many tender poems that I will very soon be sharing with you in their entirety. I’m simultaneously thrilled and terrified.
My hope is that this work will meet you, wherever you are. Whatever pain has you groaning with the rising of the sun in the morning. And I hope you hear me as I say these words to myself and to you; it will not always be this way.
Until then, until that day when the pain of every heartbreak fades away, replaced by unspeakable joy—until we find ourselves living in the land from which no sparrow falls, I hope you’ll let these words, and the words of the poems to come, be your kind companions saying simply, “I see you.”
From my cup of tea to yours,
Gracie
beautiful
Simply lovely Gracie 🙏🏻🕯🕊❤️🩹🤍💚