I wrote the following poem shortly after I discovered I was expecting twins in the spring of 2021. It was a tumultuous time for me emotionally, and I had many fears ranging from the difficulty of the pregnancy, (which had already been extremely challenging), to the realities of caring for two babies at once. But writing this poem reminded me of the divinity of a love that requires deep sacrifice—a love that gives even its breath for the beloved ones. The love that God has for me. (And for you, dear reader.)
Even more wonderfully, my dear friend Bethanie Pack, (whose artwork I am commissioning for my upcoming poetry book As the Sparrow Flies—the collection where this poem finds its permanent home) asked to use one of my ultrasound pictures from the twins’ pregnancy as inspiration for the lovely piece of artwork at the top of this post. I adore the way her the textures and colors of this piece convey not only a moment of intimate creation, but also of divine inspiration.
Inspiration: a word that means both the mental stimulation to do something creative, as well as the drawing in of breath.
So without further ado, beloved readers—and no matter how this mother’s day finds you, I hope you can remember today that the Mother-Love of God is always seeking you out—always giving you breath, no matter what the cost.
Here in this place—in this dark and unknown, it is still safe for you to grow.
Gracie
let me be/ your breath grow in me— all that is new and tender the unseen seems more real with each fluttering sign of presence. (the flutters gave them away after all) —how I knew they were two and not only one. Now my desires are more refined than ever. So grow in me— until the pain makes it hard to rise from my sheets until I’m stretched and marred far beyond my capacity until red stripes mark my belly full and heavy with the weight of the glory of you. grow in me— until sleep becomes a stranger until breaths feel hard to take— for the crowding of my lungs is no less Holy than singing praises to the God who made you. grow in me— until you are ready to breathe with fresh lungs— until the sweet echos of your first cries tear open places always meant for loving you. Until then Dear Ones, grow in me— and let me be your breath.
You can find more of Bethanie Pack’s lovely artwork on her website, or be sure to follow her on IG @bethaniepack .