Welcome to my Kitchen Table Corner of the Internet
A writer's internet confessions, the switch to Substack, and what you can expect in this space.
I’ve been writing on the internet for years. Actually since I was 17 and literally knew nothing about anything, except that I was hurting and I knew other people were too. The heart to connect with others who have walked through the dark valleys, has been there all along, but I will admit that my tendency to over promise and under deliver has kept me stunted in many ways, even way back then.
The truth is, though I am smack dab in the millennial generation, computers and internet stuff have often left me wanting to tear the strawberry blonde curls right out of my head. If I’m honest, I’ve often been too prideful to ask for help like my Grandma would when confronted with yet another new computer/internet thing—so that also has made me feel stuck in this writing/author life which you can no longer do from a cave I’m told, but must in fact, connect in some way with the internet. It’s been a love/hate relationship for as long as I’ve been seriously writing. But these past few years have turned the corner for me as I have been able to connect with people I have never met, and may never meet in real life—but who have graciously offered their thoughts, their feedback, and their stories in response to something I pecked out in the online space. My 17 year old heart’s desires were met in every word in passing, or every comment that said in essence; “Yes. This puts words to my experience. I feel seen.”
There is almost nothing I desire more.
But pouring out your soul over the keys in the early morning hours, or late at night, or in the middle of spoon feeding your twin babies bites of cereal is hard to do when the only sound is crickets. The love of writing is enough in some ways, but not in others. Like most writers out there, I want the words to go and do in the world, in the ways they are meant. And in this frenetic, content churning, overstimulated age I have found it hard to keep up with it all. Social media, blogging, a podcast and an email list? Also write for other publications! Also, be working on your book proposals! I’m sweating just typing it.
Perhaps it is in part due to what has always been true about me, but what I have only recently discovered as my Highly Sensitive Personality trait. I overwhelm easy. And my capacity can never quite seem to keep up with my ambitions. Perhaps it is because in the year 2021 I started a podcast thinking I was pregnant with one baby, and it turned out to be two. As you can imagine, my margins over the past year have been thinner than thin. Almost every time over the past year that I’ve actually had a moment to sit down at the computer keys to write, I felt myself torn: poems? email list? blog post? submission? book????? And I would inevitably waste half my writing time wondering what on earth I should be working on.
The truth is, that as a Mom of five kids, I am already pulled in 20 directions from the moment my tired eyes open to cute little hands pulling my hair off my head on the pillow. Writing is such a gift to me, but I need it to be a place that feels more peaceful than my everyday chaos. I need to feel like there are fewer directions that I can turn my attention towards, so that I can actually make real, meaningful progress on something. I need to be able to give my best somewhere, in stead of feeling the pull to give it all everywhere.
Enter Substack.
This beautiful, more minimalistic platform is already helping me feel more peace of mind as I navigate my writing life in the very-thin margins. Gone are the debates about whether to blog or send a newsletter. Additionally, the comments and community aspects to this space will, Lord willing, allow us as readers and writer, to connect more about the ideas and stories I share in this space. Because I want to hear your stories too! And though all of my content is currently free, Substack makes it really easy to offer paid content as a writer—and if at some point I could even just break even with this writing and content creating thing, that would be amazing.
The point of writing on the internet has never been just to put my words out there, although that is certainly part of it. The point is for us to find a place of connection. For us to look one another in the eyes and say, “Yes. I’ve been there too.” And as the wonderful writer and editor Steph Duncan Smith recently shared on The Next Right Thing podcast (hosted by the lovely Emily P. Freeman), the spaces we create as writers on the internet are not meant to be “platforms” in the sense that I’m on some lofty perch shouting down to you (something I have always found to be supremely icky.) Instead, they are meant to be tables and dinner parties.
Finally, a concept about “platform” building as a writer on the internet that I can get behind. I know all about tables. I LOVE TABLES. And I also love dinner parties. So this is me, building a table, and inviting you to my dinner party, and hoping you invite all your friends that you think would enjoy the kind of food I’m serving here. You belong.
Welcome to my kitchen table. Welcome to my new little corner of the internet, which now that I’m thinking about it, I might just love again. There is a little bit of a shift in the focus, but you can mostly expect the same down to earth, honest, beauty focused writing. A Crown of Flowers is a theme I have been mulling over for years, and for me it perfectly encompasses the glorious redemption that will be ours in full when Jesus returns, but is even now something we can ponder and celebrate. There will be no pretty bows tied around hardship here—but we will look for the glimmers of light. There is beauty, even here amongst the weeds and the compost of life. We just have to become hunters of beauty’s foliage. Here we will look for the signs, and seeing them, we will rejoice.
I do this as much for me, as for you. Paying attention is helping me find joy again after one of the darkest years of my life. And I hope that something you read here will help you to find a little beauty and joy in your own life too—no matter what you’ve been walking through.
Come on in. Pull up a chair. Let’s talk softly, and listen well, and watch the steam curl from our cups while we wait for the flowers to grow.
Welcome to my Kitchen Table Corner of the Internet
Oh, dear one. Your heart, your gifting, and your authenticity bless me so. I am so excited for you, and thrilled to follow your journey. I am a grateful beneficiary of your wisdom and humility. Thank you.