“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-17)
This past week has held a lot for our family. On Saturday night, our three-year-old nephew Tiber went to the ER struggling to breathe. After a fun day of playing and dying Easter eggs, his tiny sniffle quickly turned dangerous overnight—when he arrived at the hospital his oxygen saturation was in the 60s.
The next day was Easter—a day that should have been full of family togetherness and celebration. Instead, we spent it with one of our littlest members being airlifted to the ICU at Children’s hospital—the rest of us unable to do more than hope, and wait, and pray.
In moments like this—the “Why’s” scream so loud. And I don’t have an answer for that. But as my Dad reminded us during our little gathering church service—God was still at work. Isn’t he always?
Earlier that week, as I had been preparing for the fun and the work that is hosting 18 people at your house for Easter, I found myself buying extra of the foods I know my nephews love. Hot dogs, and veggie straws, and extra delicious fruit. I made granola. And sure, perhaps it’s all coincidence—but for the past three days my 5 year old nephew Griffin has a “cousin sleepover” while his mom drives back and forth from the hospital with her three month old baby to visit her very sick three-year-old, and meanwhile, Griffin has had familiar foods that he loves to eat while staying at his Aunt Gracie’s house. Sometimes the Spirit prompts you to buy hotdogs, yoghurt, and make granola. These are the provisions.
Speaking with my sister-in-law earlier today she had some similar reflections. Earlier this week, my brother’s train home from school broke down, and she had to get on the interstate to go and pick him up. It was the first nerve-wracking time she’d done that since moving to Colorado. And because she had done that earlier in the week, the commute (alone) to and from the children’s hospital this past weekend was so much less stressful. Even more incredibly, she shared with me how the night that Tiber was really sick, Griffin, their oldest, woke them up because he had climbed in bed with Tiber and noticed it was wet. (It was vomit from him coughing so hard.) Their need to wake him up to change the bedding it ultimately what protected him from brain damage with his oxygen being so low.
She told me how all these things that were frustrating and irritating at the time—were actually ways that God was providing and protecting them in the midst of these very scary days. And I’m reminded how kind God is to orchestrate the details of our lives, even down to the frustrating and irritating ones, for our good. It doesn’t always work out in this exact way I know, and that’s hard to wrap my mind around. But today Tiber comes home from the hospital with and illness-induced asthma diagnosis and an inhaler, meanwhile Griffin is sad to leave Aunt Gracie’s house because he had such a good time with us, and I am FULL of GRATITUDE.
Who could have known that the train breaking down was a good thing? Something for which my sister-in-law now gives thanks? Who knew that there was more than impulse purchasing involved in my decision to add hotdogs and yoghurt to my cart?
I am more and more convinced now that sometimes it’s the hard-thankfuls—the circumstances in our lives that grate, irritate, and even feel directly harmful at times, that become places where we see hope begin to germinate. We are told to rejoice in every circumstance, and that feels like a tall order to fill. But perhaps 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 has more to do with the ultimate provision that is with us despite every crummy circumstance—and God who stands outside of time will see us rejoicing through all the good that he has wrought through the difficulties of our lives. Even if it’s not until we get to heaven’s gates and see this messy tapestry from the front side for the first time.
You don’t have to see it now, or paint it with a rose colored brush. But perhaps someday, God will show you where the thankfulness lives in each hard thing—the same kind of grace that lives in the scars of the God-Man killed as an innocent. The upside-down kingdom where hope lives like the wildflowers blooming in the cracks of the rock. The blessing of living in a place where tombs hold the greatest of miracles.
Oh Grace, what a journey of life you have had along with your family. Thank you for sharing your heart and teaching from your spirit. As always, grateful. 🙏🏻🕯🕊❤️🩹🤍💚