YOU WERE THE MONSTERS IN MY CLOSET

Three Poems & a Cover Reveal

Photo by Jason Mavrommatis on Unsplash

/
would it have been different 
if a man in charge had been harmed 
by a little girl

would they have taken it to the cops?
taken it to the elders?
taken it seriously? 

or perhaps they shoved it under the rug
because they were afraid 
that’s what was happening. 

a little girl coming for the reputation 
of a grown ass man who did
exactly what she said he did. 


—you were the monsters in my closet 

---

/

your credibility
      my culpability 

your certainty 
      my fear

your prowess
      my giftedness

your narcissism 
       my joy 


—things I swallowed at your command 

---

/

you say to me
 “I’m sorry—
 I’ve changed 
 the way you see him
 by telling you this—“

& I say to you:
 “NO. 
 don’t you be sorry.
 not for one damn minute.

he did something evil
      his evil
is what has changed 
the way I see him.”


—the moon of your bravery is enough to illuminate this dark 

---

Naming what aches is the first step to freedom—so here’s something that needs to be named.

The prevalence of sexual abuse of women and girls in the church, and the coverups that are also far too common, are directly tied to attitudes of misogyny and patriarchy.

Maybe some of you are seeing the news of yet another offender being “restored” to a position of power. This is what happens when the words of men matter more than the truth women and girls dare to speak, and it is one of the reasons I am writing this book.

It’s the reason I started writing in the first place back in 2007—because as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse that occurred (and was dismissed) in a church context, I didn’t want to stay silent in the face of pain I knew I was not the only one facing.

I’m so incredibly excited to show you this gorgeous cover made in collaboration with my dear friend Bethanie Pack who has once again outdone herself with the painting for this work.

(If you already know you’d like to be on the ARC team for this book you can apply here.)

Dear readers—I wish there was a way towards healing that didn’t involve wading through the dark of what’s been done to us. But there isn’t.

Still, we are brave enough to chase freedom.

Warmly,

Grace E. Kelley