I related to this quite a bit, as my husband and I have tried to figure out what works for us and how it changes with each season (literal seasons as well as figurative as we live in a farm with lots of outside chores too!) A big realization for me was the recognition of how much emotional labor I was doing and/or management around his tasks. I liked Eve Rodsky's book, Fair Play for breaking down these tasks and truly looking at who was doing what.
I so relate to this! It took us longer to figure out the problem and we’re still working on it, but I’m thankful for how my husband truly wants to value my time and help carry the load of domestic work. I read the book “Fair Play” last year and it helped me get clarity on the issues, as well as feel better about asking for more from him.
Thank you for addressing this. It is such an important issue for the Church to discuss. I think a lot of women still have those limiting beliefs in the back of their mind that keep them from having these open conversations with their husbands. I think many husbands have been raised in complementarian households and have no idea how to be helpful around the house at all. I, like you, have an incredibly helpful husband that has shared the load with me for most of our 20 years of marriage. But I know many men who, though kind and loving, just don't know how to help their wives, how to be equal partners. I feel for those women who have to push through the hyper-complementarian narratives in their own minds only to have to "train" their husbands to carry their share of the load.
I related to this quite a bit, as my husband and I have tried to figure out what works for us and how it changes with each season (literal seasons as well as figurative as we live in a farm with lots of outside chores too!) A big realization for me was the recognition of how much emotional labor I was doing and/or management around his tasks. I liked Eve Rodsky's book, Fair Play for breaking down these tasks and truly looking at who was doing what.
I so relate to this! It took us longer to figure out the problem and we’re still working on it, but I’m thankful for how my husband truly wants to value my time and help carry the load of domestic work. I read the book “Fair Play” last year and it helped me get clarity on the issues, as well as feel better about asking for more from him.
Thank you for addressing this. It is such an important issue for the Church to discuss. I think a lot of women still have those limiting beliefs in the back of their mind that keep them from having these open conversations with their husbands. I think many husbands have been raised in complementarian households and have no idea how to be helpful around the house at all. I, like you, have an incredibly helpful husband that has shared the load with me for most of our 20 years of marriage. But I know many men who, though kind and loving, just don't know how to help their wives, how to be equal partners. I feel for those women who have to push through the hyper-complementarian narratives in their own minds only to have to "train" their husbands to carry their share of the load.