I think it was an interview with Joshua Gibbs and Tsh Oxenreider where he told a story about how sometimes the best that anyone could do for another person was to remove a layer of want… So if you asked a student,
“Do you want to believe?” No?
“Ok, well do you want to want to believe” No?
“Do you want to want to want to want to believe?”
Yes. Ok. Start there.
And I think maybe that’s how God is too. He just needs that smallest turning towards himself.
“I believe, help my unbelief”.
He knows we’re dust, and he’s not safe - not even a little bit - but he’s good. Your honest wrestling is an expression of faith, even when you feel like you have none.
Thank you for this Annelise. I feel like in some ways I've finally hit the bottom of some questions I've been asking all my life. Perhaps now all that's left is to go back up? I'm hopeful.
I completely understand this. There are things my friends are experiencing and I just want Him to relieve them of their pain, and I don't understand why He won't. I feel especially seen by these lines, "I’m tired of persevering. I’m tired of trusting God for things that he doesn’t give." I'm struggling to reconcile this idea of God as Jehovah Jireh and my empty hands that are waiting to receive.
Oh Gigi, you know I know exactly how you feel. It's so hard to watch those you love suffer, wishing you could do something, and feeling like all you have is prayer to a God who may or may not answer the way you want him to.
What I'm finding that is finally bringing me some peace, is that he is present and at work, even when I can't see it and don't understand it. And that this is the messy middle of a story that does in fact have a really good ending. Trying to walk in trust even though I feel far from trusting feels a little akin to walking a high trapeze with no net, blindfolded—but he is here. I know he's with you too.
I love this Grace! Surender to God is the only answer that brings us peace as we live in this fallen world. Thank you for your vulnerability to share what so many of us have felt. It is a great reminder.
I think it was an interview with Joshua Gibbs and Tsh Oxenreider where he told a story about how sometimes the best that anyone could do for another person was to remove a layer of want… So if you asked a student,
“Do you want to believe?” No?
“Ok, well do you want to want to believe” No?
“Do you want to want to want to want to believe?”
Yes. Ok. Start there.
And I think maybe that’s how God is too. He just needs that smallest turning towards himself.
“I believe, help my unbelief”.
He knows we’re dust, and he’s not safe - not even a little bit - but he’s good. Your honest wrestling is an expression of faith, even when you feel like you have none.
Thank you for this Annelise. I feel like in some ways I've finally hit the bottom of some questions I've been asking all my life. Perhaps now all that's left is to go back up? I'm hopeful.
I completely understand this. There are things my friends are experiencing and I just want Him to relieve them of their pain, and I don't understand why He won't. I feel especially seen by these lines, "I’m tired of persevering. I’m tired of trusting God for things that he doesn’t give." I'm struggling to reconcile this idea of God as Jehovah Jireh and my empty hands that are waiting to receive.
Oh Gigi, you know I know exactly how you feel. It's so hard to watch those you love suffer, wishing you could do something, and feeling like all you have is prayer to a God who may or may not answer the way you want him to.
What I'm finding that is finally bringing me some peace, is that he is present and at work, even when I can't see it and don't understand it. And that this is the messy middle of a story that does in fact have a really good ending. Trying to walk in trust even though I feel far from trusting feels a little akin to walking a high trapeze with no net, blindfolded—but he is here. I know he's with you too.
Thank you, Grace. It's comforting to know that the ending is good, even when the middle feels so uncertain.
Oh Grace, 🥺😢💔🙏🏼🕯️🕊️❤️🩹🤍🩶 I just don’t know and I am old. As always, your words 🥹 Susan
As always, thank you for reading Susan.
brutal honesty is foundational to healing—love this.
Thank you Peyton. You are so right. I think being honest with ourselves is sometimes the hardest part.
I love this Grace! Surender to God is the only answer that brings us peace as we live in this fallen world. Thank you for your vulnerability to share what so many of us have felt. It is a great reminder.
Thanks Mom. Love you.